Growing Up in a Gang Brought Us Together: LOVE DON’T JUDGE – Video

Growing Up in a Gang Brought Us Together: LOVE DON’T JUDGE – Video

We Grew Up In A Gang – But Fell In Love | LOVE DON’T JUDGE is a powerful and moving video about the love story of Trino and Adam. Despite growing up in tough circumstances and being involved in gangs, the pair found love in each other. Trino and Adam address the stereotypes and challenges they faced in their relationship due to their cultural backgrounds and sexual orientation. The video discusses the struggles they faced in accepting their own identities and being true to themselves, especially within the context of Mexican American and Cholo culture.

Trino and Adam share personal experiences of coming out to their families and the pain they endured due to the lack of acceptance within their cultural community. The video also features insightful interviews with Trino’s family and their perspectives on his sexual orientation. It delves into the complexities of being gay in a culture that places a heavy emphasis on traditional gender roles and the impact it had on their relationship.

The video emphasizes the navigating of societal judgment, bigotry, and misconceptions surrounding their appearance and relationship. Trino and Adam’s resilience and love for each other shine through as they remain unapologetically themselves, despite the pressures to conform to society’s expectations. Their journey is an inspiration, showing that love transcends cultural boundaries and stereotypes. We Grew Up In A Gang – But Fell In Love | LOVE DON’T JUDGE is a touching and thought-provoking portrayal of love, acceptance, and the power of staying true to oneself.

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Video Transcript

This is trino he fell in love with Adam people often stereotype the couple we’re not gang Rivals we’re lovers and their cultural backgrounds mean that their relationship hasn’t always been plain saling you can’t live your life expecting people to just fully embrace you all the time that’s just not how

Life is in our culture the gay man it’s an embarrassment to the family someone said I would rather you be a drug addict than to be gay like there’s no bigger crime than that if you sleep with a man because you love them then you’re going to go Straight to

Hell my name is trino and this is my partner Adam and people think that we’re gang Rivals but we’re actually lovers we been together for 18 years 18 years when we first met when we would go and get an apartment together we always said that we were cousins we’re a Mexican American

And we’re also here in California there’s such a guno culture I’m first in Mexican my Grandma she’s from Mexico my mom she was born here so I’m like 20th you’re like what third generation The Cho culture the Mexican culture the Latino culture it’s just so intense

Especially us being boys growing up in a neighborhood where there’s Gang Related you know it became part of our culture for us to survive I think that your mom definitely my mom how we’re making our families look the the shame you know when I first came out to my mom um she

Told me like I don’t have a son anymore have nothing but daughters you know the gay man it’s an embarrassment to the family I knew this since I was young like when I met you someone said I would rather you be a drug addict than to be

Gay you know yeah it’s like the bottom of the barrel for some people it just feels like there’s no bigger crime than it’s like you can go can cheat on your can go and beat people on The Daily but if you sleep with a man because you them

Then you’re going to go straight to hell my sister Branda she’s always been really protective I’m excited but I’m nervous to see what she’s going to say to hear her talk about how she felt back then she’s definitely had a lot of different emotions when I came out you

Know my sister’s a really honest person I think it’s also healthy to hear her point of view well I thought they were just good friends hey my husband told me I think they’re together and then I’m like no why would you say that I’m so excited you

Came we were younger so we didn’t really talk about it that much soena why were you concerned about 3o being with being gay well him being treated different especially in the family cuz you know in our culture it could be a little bit like what and it wasn’t cuz I was going

To look less I was just I feel like it could be a tough life you know it could Define you so I was like no he’s not gay I understand what you’re saying because I feel like there’s times a lot of times we go to events and and

We always were like this could be the day you know that we’re going to meet in someone that’s not always going to fill us you know it’s always a thought in our mind but it’s we’re never going to let it Define who we are you relate to me

Without you not being a gay man we relate too much to struggles our relationships life point of view I just love the fact you’ve never changed with us you’ve always made us feel like we’re just normal people like you know we’re normal I’m normal this this not just

Thing nor this is three’s part of clothing you know I like to just stay like with you know just things I’m comfortable with you know things that look cool there a brand here oh sorry and I love it because it’s definitely giving cholita huh yeah yeah like bandanas is very Like A Cholo

Thing it’s a very classic shirt you know especially in the Cho culture when we wear this shirt we’re trying to be cholos that’s what they say so what are cholitas a cholita is like a gangster you know it’s it’s a girl gang member they wear their makeup certain way they

Feather their hair back they’re they’re part of gangs you know and it’s the girl version of aolo aolo is the boy gangster and it’s because you know you’re you’re gay and basically saying that we’re males but we’re basically females they’re degrading our our sexuality our manhood because we’re gay but we’re

Having an image when in reality this is not an image to us it’s just closed yeah the make it seem like you can’t wear certain things like it’s a uniform and the Cho culture it’s a it’s it’s a gang you know and I understand it and I don’t

Do it to disrespect nobody if it bothers people that doesn’t seem to be my problem you know some people are like oh you guys are trying to act like your toos you’re trying to act like your hard you’re trying to act like something you’re not this is all I know how to be

People want us to be a certain way they just can’t understand that you know gay guys come from the hood and I’m not afraid to to show it and to embrace who I am sometimes people will say like you know it’s okay to be gay but just dress

Like you’re gay like your uni yeah how do you dress like you’re gay you know Yep this is it growing up I just decided to wear the armor so I had this demeanor of me like I don’t give a you know what I mean I walked to a room they just knew

Not to with me oh they just remember this time I look good they look all right look at me my curly ha this is one of the first pictures we ever took together it wasn’t the beginning and I was I just remember feeling so in love growing up the place

We lived at like you don’t wear red that was something that would never be in my closet something that was programmed but now like as an adult like I feel like yeah I I embrace the the color red and red looks really good on me it does look

Good the thing is with the whole gang thing is like they don’t have nothing but they only have their neighborhood so they don’t have nothing going but this so I’m going to protect this we get a lot of comments on Tik Tok but basically all social media about how we look so

Sad sad where did it first happen for you both ya or LA County a lot of people think that we met in prison there’s this one comment it says I remember these fools from the P that’s prison I’ve never been in prison he’s never been I

Don’t even have a record it made us strongest as a couple when all we have is each other you know so we depend on each other like if he’s fighting I’m fighting it’s kind of normal for me because I always like grew up with two

Gay dads with Adam he’s been in my life since I was two so I really only remember just him being my dad not my stepdad but I kept it very private when it came to my dad’s if someone asked and I felt comfortable enough I would tell

Them but I just knew I think at a really young age that people are very judgmental especially with gay parents I think at the time I don’t think it was as accepting as it is now I always had like a really good childhood I feel like they always did

Their best to like make it fun and interesting I don’t think they ever told me that they were gay like it’s just something like naturally I just always knew when I was little lot of people would ask oh so where’s your mom and I don’t honestly I don’t really remember

What I used to say but like if I felt comfortable enough I would just tell them it was just very private she’s still private it was mostly them that experienced all that judgment and it was hard to watch cuz it’s like these people are just assuming a lot judge them based

On how they looked they’re covered in tattoos the way they dress I think they just assume like they’re you know part of a gang or something something they’re like in the hood like doing bad things the misconceptions I feel was that being gay parents you’re going to raise a good

Child you know and I think a lot of people also think that she was in to need some intense therapy because of the confusion and our baby shows us that she’s so strong she’s so strong minded she’s so aware of who she is and she’s so focused and she just definitely like

The best part of us she reminds us that us raising her with love and protection and honesty it’s the best recipe you know so do that to your kids oh my God we’re just family whatever you call that his cousin homies brother do you guys understand why I was

Concerned in the beginning like I know that I said I was mad but I feel like I could have helped you come out but we didn’t talk about our feelings and and I go back and I think was there something that could have helped you like you know

How I am now what could I do to help you come out to Mom and Dad yeah or to anybody you know I’m proud of you because you did you found your own strength and you did it you dealt with it in a way that you never made me feel

Alone you know what I’m saying and it was so new and it was something you had to learn how to deal with you know so I get it you have been such a defiant of our journey and you’ve seen us now maybe Embrace ourselves and you’ve never made

Us feel judge no he definitely is my safe place to thank you for loving us BR I love you so much we’ve been honest with ourselves our life hasn’t been perfect Rel is not perfect but that’s what makes us right now so for us to really live our life very transparent it

Feels amazing so the the recipe is just live your truth you know people see us and they think a certain way but you know what for us we we really give our hearts you guys were like the missing pieces to my puzzle and my puzzle has finally been completed thank you Bobby

For having my bag and loving me when I feel like I was on love myself you know what I mean so guys guys

Author Video Description


TRINO and Adam have been together for 18 years, but the couple have endured backlash throughout their relationship. Both proud Mexican-Americans, the men’s Chicano culture means that not everyone approved of their love. Speaking to truly about their culture, Trino explained: “The gay man, it’s an embarrassment to the family,” and Adam added: “Someone said they’d rather be a drug addict than gay. It’s the bottom of the barrel for some people.” Growing up in Los Angeles’ gang neighbourhoods, the pair’s dress sense has been heavily influenced by their upbringing. Adam said: “Sometimes people will say, ‘It’s ok to be gay, but just dress like you’re gay,’… How do you dress like you’re gay?” Agreeing, Trino added: “People want us to be a certain way, they just can’t understand that gay guys come from the hood!” In this episode of Love Don’t Judge, Trino and Adam will have an honest conversation with Trina’s sister, Brenda, about her initial concerns of the relationship. We’ll also meet the couple’s daughter, Natalie, who opens up on how people reacted to her having two dads. Reflecting on their relationship judgement, Adam said: “People see us and they think a certain way, but you know what, for us, we really give our heart.”

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Videographer: Ben Fredman
Producers: Kathryn Lewsey, Kate Moore, Amy Nicholson & Yasmin Walker
Editor: Jonny Poole

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Video “We Grew Up In A Gang – But Fell In Love | LOVE DON'T JUDGE” was uploaded on 01/28/2024 to Youtube Channel truly