Parents are stressed. Here’s what we can do to help them

Parents are stressed and it is time to do something about it. In a nutshell, that’s the message from the United States Surgeon General’s recent public health advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents.

The report states that parents and caregivers often face heightened stress due to financial strain, concerns over children’s health and safety, isolation and loneliness, and difficulty managing technology and social media.

In a 2023 Pew Research Center report, over a quarter of American parents indicated that being a parent is a lot harder than they expected, with a further third of parents reporting it was somewhat harder than expected.

This news is likely unsurprising to the six million Canadian families with children. Despite the overwhelming number of parenting books, blogs, apps and websites, many feel largely unprepared to parent.

The U.S. report should be a call to action to provide parents with the help they need to care for themselves and their families.

Why is parenting stressful?

Parenting is likely harder than expected because, alongside keeping children safe, meeting their needs, time constraints and financial worries, modern families face exacerbated pressures and new stressors.

Today in Canada, two-thirds of mothers work full-time while continuing to take on a larger share of physical household tasks and being more likely to take care of aging parents. Some parents, particularly those who face economic, social and cultural barriers, may carry a greater burden of care-giving stress.

Over the past 40 years, fathers’ roles have changed too. There is a higher proportion of families with dads as the stay-home parent; one in 10 in 2015, compared to one in 70 in 1976. Similarly, fathers have increased participation in domestic tasks (76 per cent in 2015 compared to 51 per cent in 1986) and time spent on primary child care (49 per cent in 2015 compared to 33 per cent in 1986).

New parenting stressors include the rise in youth mental health conditions. There are also the difficulties of navigating and negotiating the ever-changing landscape of technology and social media with children, including increasing concerns about safety and impact on child health. That’s coupled with the growing costs of child care and strained finances due to inflation.

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Reducing parent stress

Although stressors vary across families and child developmental stages, there are many common parenting struggles, including financial issues, balancing routines and schedules, navigating technology and managing mental health concerns for themselves and their children.

To reduce parental stress and promote the well-being of both caregivers and children, we need effective policies, enhanced programs and cultural shifts. Public health campaigns addressing these challenges increase awareness and decrease stigma associated with parenting challenges.

All messages need to sensitively address ethnic, linguistic and socioeconomic diversity.

My research team at McMaster University is currently working on developing resources, building off the innovative materials created by colleagues at Oxford University to assist parents globally during the COVID-19 pandemic.

A recent survey from the U.S. found that two-thirds of parents report feeling lonely and isolated. Almost 80 per cent of parents surveyed also indicated they would value having a way to connect with other parents outside of work and home. Building supportive networks where parents can connect with each other go a long way toward addressing those feelings.

Collective action is needed to provide opportunities where parents and caregivers can meet to share perspectives and insights and support one another.

Providing such opportunities in places like community groups, workplaces, schools, faith organizations and health and social support systems can help eliminate common barriers to access and promote engagement (for example, brief seminars to discuss important parenting issues with parents).

Some policy recommendations

In Canada, more can be done at all levels of government to support parents, caregivers and their families. Policymakers should enhance financial assistance programs such as the Canada Child Benefit and Child Disability Benefit.

Although progress has been made towards child-care support, accessibility issues in terms of the availability and affordability of high-quality programs continue to be an issue for many parents.

Too many families are struggling to meet their basic needs, which contributes to parenting stress and negatively impacts mental health. Expanded funding and resources should be prioritized for food and housing security, and prevention of adverse childhood experiences. The 2022 Report of the National Advisory Council on Poverty provides many strategies that governments should enact to support parents and caregivers.

Although most provinces and territories provide online support to connect families to services, navigating complex needs across organizations and services can be challenging and confusing. Governments should develop unified ways to access social and health services.

Accessible and affordable high-quality mental health care is needed for parents and caregivers. This involves supporting telehealth options; reducing wait times by expanding and supporting the mental health workforce and community mental health-care options; and strengthening publicly funded coverage.

Although the counterargument of cost is invariably raised, it has been proven that cost-effective prevention and treatment strategies save future dollars in health care costs and lost productivity with substantial benefits to society.

Parental mental health supports must be integrated into primary care, child mental health services and schools. Due to siloed government funding, supports are currently provided by separate service delivery systems, limiting our ability to adopt two generation family approaches.

One way to do this is to embed social workers, mental health providers or peer support specialists within pediatric, primary-care facilities and schools.

Touchpoints with health-care systems (vaccination, wellness and annual visits) can be leveraged to check in with parents and caregivers about their stress, sleep and mental health and provide information about childhood milestones and changes across development and strategies for parenting and overall well-being. Social service and educational systems can similarly provide resources to families.

Resources for parents

If you’re a parent or caregiver in need of assistance for yourself or your child, help is available. The Canadian Mental Health Association provides various resources and supports for families

Kids Help Phone is available 24-7 for children and youth. Parents can also reach out for advice or to access online resources. You can call them toll-free at 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.

Families Canada also provides a comprehensive overview of family support centres across Canada.

The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on parenting stress was a wake-up call, highlighting what we need to do to support parents. This involves all of us — family members, friends, co-workers, employers, professionals, educators and policymakers.

Raising a child is not easy, and at the risk of sounding colloquial, it really does take a village.