Adam Sandler’s AARP Movies for Grownups Career Achievement Speech

While Adam Sandler plays a more dramatic role in the recent “Jay Kelly,” his speech at AARP’s Movies for Grownups Awards was all comedy. Sandler brought down the house with a characteristically humorous address as he received the career achievement honor at the Beverly Wilshire in Beverly Hills on Saturday. 

First greeting the audience as his “silver-haired daddies” and “salt-and-pepper mommies,” Sandler said that many people in his life told him receiving an AARP award means he’s officially considered old now. But, “It’s not because of this award,” Sandler continued. “I got 10 other reasons that let you know why.” 

The first reason? “The other day, I had to swallow a Viagra just to take a piss,” Sandler laughed. He joked that he has only one tastebud left (“Everything I eat now tastes like oatmeal”), his texts are so large they can be read by “anyone with a window seat on a Delta flight” and most of his high school reunion was spent with him saying “I’m so sorry to hear that.” “When I received the Academy Award screeners app, even though I press play on 44 different movies, I can only stay awake for a combined total of eight minutes,” said Sandler to raucous laughter. “To every one of you out there who are getting all the accolades, I must say I loved the first 30 seconds.” 

Sandler expressed gratitude to his family for supporting his goofiness after all these years in his speech. “Thank you to my lovely wife for staying with me even though no part of my body is where it used to be,” said Sandler. “Thank you to my two gorgeous children for not laughing every time I walk down the hallway shirtless.” 

To close out, the actor thanked all the attendees in the room, including George Clooney, Kathy Bates, Noah Wyle, Laura Dern and more. “I promise to every one of you here tonight, I will make at least 50 more movies before I am dead. And at least 25 of them will be…