Can you really buy friendship? Behind the rise of paid social clubs

Feeling lonely in a big city? You’re not alone.

Amid crowded streets and the constant noise of urban life, a surprising trend is quietly taking hold: the rise of paid social clubs.

Once a niche idea, these curated groups are becoming a go-to option for people seeking connection in a way that feels safe, structured and genuinely social. Some popular examples include Timeleft, which matches strangers for group dinners, Chirpy Plus, a membership-based community for people aged over 50, and EatWith, an app for social dining experiences.

Their growth has been rapid, as more people choose real-world interaction over the glow of a screen. But are paid social clubs really the new panacea for our loneliness problem?

Everything old is new again

Paid social clubs are not new. Private clubs have existed in Britain since the 16th century, built around shared interests and social support – albeit often exclusive and elitist.

From London’s historic gentlemen’s clubs such as White’s and Boodle’s, to humanitarian organisations such as Rotary International, people have long paid membership fees in exchange for status, networking and social connection.

More recently, online platforms such as MeetUp (launched in 2002 by US entrepreneur Scott Heiferman) have offered a way for people to find locals with similar interests. These kinds of online platforms are simply the latest version of an old idea that exists because people need people.

But they are different in some ways.

Historically, traditional social clubs have been run as not-for-profit community organisations (such as Rotary and surf clubs), or as shared associations owned by members (such as many gentleman’s clubs).

However, newer online social platforms such as MeetUp and TimeLeft are run as private, for-profit companies. Unlike Rotary, or a local surf club, they aren’t founded on philanthropic or community-minded constitutions.

They also focus on short-term participation over lifelong membership or status-based ties. Here, digital discovery and ongoing fees replace traditional gatekeeping based on premises, lineage or profession.

21st-century loneliness

Loneliness is a growing public health concern in Australia, with data showing about one in six Australians aged over 15 say they often feel very lonely.

Health authorities, including the World Health Organization, are trying to understand what drives loneliness.

Loneliness isn’t just about being alone. You’ll know that if you’ve ever felt lonely in a crowd.

Rather, loneliness can emerge in the gap between the connection someone longs for and the reality they live in. In other words, it’s less about how many people are in your life and more about whether those relationships feel meaningful.

At the same time, research has shown there is a minority group of people who thrive in solitude.

They live what might be labelled a “lonely” life, yet feel deeply content – anchored by purpose, creativity, spirituality or solitude. For these individuals, time alone is not experienced as loneliness but as positive solitude.

You get what you pay for – or do you?

Paid social clubs promise a low-risk way to meet people, especially for those feeling isolated or wanting to escape the virtual world. But monetising human connection does introduce some ethical tensions.

Online social club memberships can range from around A$5 per month for community-based platforms to A$99 per year for premium services. Curated social experiences such as Timeleft can charge around US$20 a month (not including food or drink), or require users to pay per event.

Higher fees – especially for popular clubs – can widen existing social gaps. Being excluded from selective groups can intensify feelings of isolation and reinforce invisible walls of discrimination. If membership becomes a privilege, those left out may pay a social price.

Genuine friendship relies on trust, reciprocity and shared vulnerability – qualities that take time, openness and affection to build. Social clubs can help people find others with similar interests, and offer an easy entry point for introverts, but they don’t guarantee lasting friendship.

Being surrounded by likeable people and filling your calendar with activities might seem promising, yet can leave you feeling lonelier than ever.

One 2025 study found a person’s number of social interactions was not significantly associated with loneliness, whereas qualitative factors such as emotional closeness were. The authors concluded meaningful engagement matters more than the frequency of social contact.

There is also a paradox at play with these apps. Friendship grows through repeated, sometimes awkward, real-world interaction – and those moments help us build social confidence and relationship skills. It’s worth asking whether paid social clubs reduce opportunities to develop these skills naturally.

How to start finding new friends

Friendship often works best when it’s developed through mutual connection and commitment – not curated convenience. Here are some tips to help you make friends, whether or not you’re meeting them through a paid club.

• Allow time. Friendship is slow. It forms through repeated moments – not instant chemistry.

• Start small. Rather than packing your calendar with several curated events that may feel transnational, it’s better to choose one repeat event – perhaps monthly or fortnightly – that you can keep returning to, to build meaningful bonds over time.

• If you want to join a group (paid or free), you can start a hobby that will have you surrounded by people who share your interests.

• Look for reciprocity. Notice who shows up, listens, remembers small things, and meets you halfway.

• Volunteering can be a great (usually free) way to meet people that’s not dependent on social performance.